Akatsuki Chat
by Violet is Insanity
Summary: Re-post of Akatsuki chat deleted before but I think I fixed the issue so here it is. The Akatsuki chat with each other dealing with boredom their numba 1 enemy. As time passes romance develops, humorous events happen, and just pure randomness. Clearly anything can happen on Akatsuki Chat! Rated M for Hidan's lovely mouth.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first chat room I hope you like this. Also it doesn't matter if someone is dead let's just say they didn't die.**

**Who's who-**

**blue_paper = Konan**

**PuppetMaster = Sasori**

**YourGod = Pein**

**!GoodBoy! = Tobi**

**ManEater = Zetsu**

**FishSticks = Kisame**

**BomberBoy = Deidara**

**$$M0ney$$ = Kakuzu**

**JashinLuver= Hidan**

**Red_Eyes = Itachi**

**Disclaimer - I don't own naruto. If I did Akatsuki would still all be alive.**

* * *

It was a rainy day at the Akatsuki base. All of the members were trying to occupy their times, some on twitter, some watching infomercials, and others staring at spots on the walls. Nothing was interesting the only interesting thing that happened that day was when Kisame yelled "I got 3.5k followers! EAT THAT KYUUBI!" So Pein and Sasori thought they'd occupy themselves with a chat room.

**YourGod has logged on**

**PuppetMaster has logged on**

YourGod: Hello Sasori :)

PuppetMaster: Hi leader :)

**JashinLuver has logged on**

JashinLuver: what up assholes?

PuppetMaster: Lovely greeting Hidan. Lovely.

JashinLuver: well f*ck you, puppet f*cker.

YourGod: I'm here ya know?

PuppetMaster: Sorry

JashinLuver: you're here?

YourGod: DON'T TEST YOUR GOD!

JashinLuver: YOU AREN'T JASHIN YOU HEATHEN!

YourGod: JASHIN ISN'T REAL NOW SHUT UP BEFORE I CUT OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.

JashinLuver: Yea yea like Kakuzu hasn't done that before.

PuppetMaster: Wow ….

YourGod: I really didn't need to know that.

**FishSticks has logged on**

PuppetMaster: Hi Kisame.

FishSticks: Hi Sasori and Leader.

YourGod: Hello Kisame. How is Itachi?

JashinLuver: You forgot me asshole!

FishSticks: He's been yelling at a wall telling it to move. How's Konan?

JashinLuver: FINE JUST F*CKING IGNORE ME WILL YA!

YourGod: She's been acting weird. :/

FishSticks: Did you get her pregnant?

JashinLuver: HOLY SHIT YOU GOT THAT BITCH PREGNANT

PuppetMaster: I'm just gonna log off before something happens

**PuppetMaster has logged off**

YourGod: No I did not get her pregnant.

JashinLuver: don't lie to us! You forgot to use protection didn't you?

YourGod: NO I DIDN'T BECAUSE ME AND KONAN AREN'T A THING! The end.

FishSticks: Don't lie to us. Just fess up and deal with the child support.

**YourGod has logged off**

JashinLuver: he's in f*cking denial.

FishSticks: Lol, I see what you did there.

JashinLuver: Did what.

FishSticks: You know as in the Nile but you said denial. Lol!

JashinLuver: Wow …..

**JashinLuver has logged off**

FishSticks: I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOO ALONE NO ONE HERES BESIDE MEEE! ( a/n quote belongs to the owner of shriek )

FishSticks: I'm bored.

**FishSticks has logged off**

* * *

**Well hope you liked it the next chapter I'll be adding couples and the other members to this maybe even a few guest stars. Yaoi included maybe. Questions that will be answered next chapter:**

**Why is Konan acting weird?**

**Why is Itachi yelling at a wall?**

**Did leader use protection?**

**Why is Kisame laughing at puns?**

**Find out next chapter on …. Akatsuki Chat!**


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the next chapter. Truth or dare

Who's who-

blue_paper = Konan

PuppetMaster = Sasori

YourGod = Pein

!GoodBoy! = Tobi

ManEater = Zetsu

FishSticks = Kisame

BomberBoy = Deidara

$$M0ney$$ = Kakuzu

JashinLuver= Hidan

Red_Eyes = Itachi

Disclaimer - I don't own naruto. If I did Akatsuki would still all be alive.

**FishSticks has logged on**

**BomberBoy has logged on**

**JashinLuver has logged on**

**YourGod has logged on**

FishSticks: Hi everyone

YourGod: Hey :)

BomberBoy: Hey

JashinLuver: Yo f*ckers!

FishSticks: So Pein-sama how's the Konan and the baby?

YourGod: FOR THE LAST TIME I DIDN'T GET KONAN PREGNANT!

JashinLuver: Fine we f*cking believe you

BomberBoy: I'm lost

YourGod: You don't wanna know *Face palms*

**JashinLuver has sent a PM to FishSticks**

To FishSticks: Pein is in denial damn it.

**FishSticks has sent a PM to JashinLuver**

To JashinLuver: Totally.

BomberBoy: I'm bored. :/

YourGod: I am too. Maybe we should play a game.

FishSticks: Like what?

YourGod: I don't know.

JashinLuver: I f*cking got it! How about we play truth or dare.

BomberBoy: Sure but we need more people.

FishSticks: I'll go get some other people. :)

YourGod: K, we'll wait.

**FishSticks changed his status to brb**

BomberBoy: How long do you think this will take?

YourGod: Depends on how long it takes for him to realize he can breathe out of water.

BomberBoy: True.

**$$M0ney$$ has logged on**

JashinLuver: Hey Kuzu.

YourGod: Hello my fellow member!

$$M0ney$$: Hey, any of you seen Tobi?

BomberBoy: Thankfully no! Why?

$$M0ney$$: He took a penny from the couch earlier and I want it.

JashinLuver: It's just a f*cking penny damn it!

$$M0ney$$: IT'S NOT JUST A PENNY! NEXT THING YOU KNOW HE'S TAKING DOLLARS FROM MY SAFE!

YourGod: That's just sad

BomberBoy: So true :|

**ManEater has signed on**

ManEater: Hey everybody.

BomberBoy: Hey Zetsu.

YourGod: Hi

JashinLuver: Yellow

$$M0ney$$: What the hell Hidan

JashinLuver: What?

$$M0ney$$: Never mind.

** blue_paper has signed on**

**!GoodBoy! has signed on**

blue_paper: Hi everyone.

!GoodBoy!: HI EVERYBODY! :):) :P :P:O TOBI CAN MAKE FACES! :D

**FishSticks has changed his status to back**

BomberBoy: We can tell Tobi :| Hey Konan.

!GoodBoy!: HI DEIDARA SEMPIA! :D :D :D :D

ManEater: Hey

$$M0ney$$: Hello

YourGod: Hi :)

JashinLuver: KONAN WE HEARD YOUR F*CKING PREGNANT!

blue_paper: WHAT! NO I'M NOT!?

FishSticks: But Leader said so!

JashinLuver: Yeah!

blue_paper: PEIN TOLD YOU WHAT?!

JashinLuver: BITCH ARE YOU DEAF? (A/N Is that how you spell it? Lol)

YourGod: NO I DIDN'T YOU GUYS CAME UP WITH IT!

blue_paper: Boys one more word of this bullshit and you'll have paper cuts in places you didn't know you had!

YourGod, JashinLuver, and FishSticks: YES MAM!

BomberBoy: That's just sad that you would back down so soon

ManEater: Yea.

blue_paper: So when are we playing?

$$M0ney$$: Were waiting for Itachi and Sasori.

**Red_Eyes has logged on**

ManEater: Speak of the devil.

Red_Eyes: You were talking about me?

BomberBoy: Yes

!GoodBoy!: DEIDARA-SEMPIA! :O :O!

BomberBoy: What Tobi? :/

!GoodBoy!: ARE YOU IN SASORI-SANS ROOM? :O :O :O :) :( :P

BomberBoy: No.

!GoodBoy!: But Tobi hears Sasori-san moaning Deidara-Sempia's name

BomberBoy: ….

blue_paper: EEP YAOI! *starts foaming from mouth*

JashinLuver: HOLY SHIT LMFAOSHTIDMSAT XD XD XD

$$M0ney$$: What the hell does that mean?

JashinLuver: Laughing my f*cking ass off so hard that I drop my scythe and taco! Duh

FishSticks: That makes sense.

Red_Eyes: Why a taco?

JashinLuver: Cause tacos are f*cking awesome!

**PuppetMaster has logged on**

PuppetMaster: Yo

BomberBoy: …

YourGod: Yo Yo Yo what up homie g

Everyone: WHAT THE HELL!?

YourGod: He said Yo so I responded with what I said.

BomberBoy:…

Red_Eyes: Care to explain the moaning coming from your room Sasori?

PuppetMaster: Care to explain why you're going blind? (Avoiding the subject)

BomberBoy:…

FishSticks: Whatever, let's start the game

YourGod: Sense I am god I'll go first!

JashinLuver: God my ass

YourGod: As I was saying …

ManEater: Typing

YourGod: ANYWAYS….Kakuzu truth or dare?

$$M0ney$$: Knowing you vile bastards ill pick truth.

YourGod: Fine…. Um, hmm…. do you like someone here?

JashinLuver: Lame question…

$$M0ney$$: ….Maybe …

BomberBoy: It's a yes or no question….

$$M0ney$$: FINE YES

blue_paper: EEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP WHOOOOOOOOOO?!

$$M0ney$$: He asked if I did not who. :|

blue_paper: Damn it.

!GoodBoy!: TOBI WANTS TO GO NEXT PICK TOBI! TOBI'S A GOOD BOY! :D :D :D

$$M0ney$$: Kisame truth or dare?

FishSticks: Hmm, I'll pick truth.

$$M0ney$$: Is it true that your dad raped a fish on the job at the zoo?

FishSticks: HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!?

PuppetMaster: Wow, your dad has some issues

FishSticks: YOU HAVE ISSUES WHO TURNS THEMSELVES INTO A PUPPET?!

PuppetMaster: That's different….. I knew a long time ago that I had issues. :P

YourGod: I have no idea how to respond to that

Red_Eyes: Kisame it's your turn.

FishSticks: K, Um Zetsu truth or dare?

JashinLuver: Be back in a few f*cking minutes I gotta do a ritual

**JashinLuver has turned his status to brb**

ManEater: Dare we aren't scared.

FishSticks: I dare you to pop into Hidan's room and jack off in front of him while he's doing his ritual.

BomberBoy: Lol

ManEater: What the hell.

YourGod: If you don't do it we'll hit a pressure point to block your chakra and then tie you to a chair and make you watch hours of teletubbies.

ManEater: You sick bastard!

**ManEater has changed his status to brb**

$$M0ney$$:That's harsh.

blue_paper: The Teletubbies are pure evil!

!GoodBoy!: YAY! TELETUBBIES! CAN I WATCH IT WITH ZETSU-SAN? :D:D:D:D

YourGod: Zetsu isn't going to watch it.

!GoodBoy!: Oh…. :( :(

PuppetMaster: Did you guys just hear Hidan scream?

blue_paper: Yep

Red_Eyes: Not only that but Zetsu came running by with Hidan running behind him saying something about unholy freak of natures while swinging his scythe

BomberBoy: Lmfaoshtidmb

$$M0ney$$: What's that mean?

BomberBoy: Laughing my f*cking ass off so hard that I drop my bomb.

blue_paper: Wait if you dropped your bomb doesn't that mean ….

**BomberBoy has been disconnected**

YourGod: Yep

**JashinLuver has changed his status to back**

JashinLuver: WHY THE HELL DID ZETSU START JACKING OFF IN FRONT OF ME?! And what was that explosion

Red_Eyes: 1. Kisame dared him to 2. Deidara was laughing so hard about it that he dropped a bomb 3. Where's Zetsu?

JashinLuver: Zetsu disappeared into the floor while I was chasing him

**ManEater has changed his status to back**

ManEater: What was that explosion

PuppetMaster: Deidara was laughing about your dare and dropped a bomb

ManEater: Oh well anyway my turn.

!GoodBoy!: PICK TOBI PICK TOBI TOBIS A GOOD BOY! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

ManEater: Maybe later Tobi. Yeah right. Sasori truth or dare

PuppetMaster: hmm dare.

ManEater: I can't think of a dare can someone help me?

**blue_paper has sent a PM to ManEater** (No I won't show you what she said)

ManEater: Thanks Konan

**ManEater has sent a Pm to PuppetMaster**

To PuppetMaster: I dare you to go to everyone's room in a dress with makeup and sing I'm a little tea pot

**BomberBoy has logged on**

BomberBoy: Back.

ManEater: Now go do the dare!

PuppetMaster: WHAT WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THAT?!

ManEater: If you don't we'll dress you up and put you in a plastic box and send to orochimaru and have the box say "WITH FAPPING ACTION"

Everyone besides Sasori and Tobi: LMFAO LOL ROFL XD

PuppetMaster: I'll remember this

ManEater: I'm sure we all will :)

**PuppetMaster has changed his status to brb**

!GoodBoy!: Zetsu-san, what's fapping mean?

Everyone else: WE'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE OLDER!

!GoodBoy!: Fine :(

blue_paper: Wow Lol looks funnier than I thought the dare would

YourGod: What'd he do?

Red_Eyes: … I think I'm blinder

ManEater: Guessing you saw?

Red_Eyes: ….

$$M0ney$$:Guessing that's a yes?

FishSticks: WHAT THE HELL!

JashinLuver: OMFJ THAT'S SO F*CKING WRONG!

YourGod: WHAT'D HE DO?

ManEater: Wait your turn.

BomberBoy: I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE

YourGod: I wish I hadn't seen that.

!GoodBoy!: Sasori-san is so pretty! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

**PuppetMaster has changed his status to back**

PuppetMaster: I hope you're happy :|

ManEater: Very :)

JashinLuver: Your turn Puppet F*cker

PuppetMaster: Leader, truth or dare?

YourGod: Truth knowing you.

PuppetMaster: Are you a virgin?

And that's the end of the chapter hope you liked it. How will Leader-sama answer? Is he a virgin or not? Why was Sasori moaning Deidara's name? Who does Kakuzu like?

Find out next chapter on… AKATSUKI CHAT!


	3. Chapter 3

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CH.3 :D

Who's who-

blue_paper = Konan

PuppetMaster = Sasori

YourGod = Pein

!GoodBoy! = Tobi

ManEater = Zetsu

FishSticks = Kisame

BomberBoy = Deidara

$$M0ney$$ = Kakuzu

JashinLuver= Hidan

Red_Eyes = Itachi

Guest Star: NARUTO! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D and others! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Disclaimer - I don't own naruto. If I did Sasori would have raped Deidara in the cave before the Konoha Nin got in to fight them. Boom Boom Boom is by venga boys

Previously on Akatsuki chat –

PuppetMaster: Leader, truth or dare?

YourGod: Truth knowing you.

PuppetMaster: Are you a virgin?

YourGod: Um uhhh errrrrrrrrrrrr uhh ….

JashinLuver: ANSWER THE F*CKING QUESTION

YourGod: YES OK DAMN IT

JashinLuver: Guess you didn't get Konan f*cking pregnant. :O

BomberBoy: Wow XD

FishSticks: NO WAY I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

**Hokage_Of_Ramen has logged on**

Hokage_Of_Ramen: BELIEVE IT!

**Hokage_Of_Ramen has logged out**

PuppetMaster: How the hell did he get on?

ManEater: I have no idea.

!GoodBoy!: Tobi likes ramen :D :D :D

blue_paper: Anyway …..

$$M0ney$$: Pein-sama your turn.

**YourGod has changed his pen name**

EmbarrassedGod: Alright, Itachi truth or dare?

Red_Eyes: Did you just change your pen name.

EmbarrassedGod: Yes, yes I did

ManEater: Srsly?

**Hokage_Of_Ramen has logged on**

Hokage_Of_Ramen: BELIEVE IT!

**Hokage_Of_Ramen has logged off**

BomberBoy: HOW THE HELL DOES HE KEEP GETTING ON?

JashinLuver: That idiot can't f*cking hack! Can he?

**Hokage_Of_Ramen has logged on**

Hokage_Of_Ramen: BELIEVE IT!

**Hokage_Of_Ramen has logged off**

ManEater: Apparently he can

**Avenging_BadAss has logged on**

Avenging_BadAss: No he can't I've been hacking for the dobe

** Avenging_BadAss has logged off**

Red_Eyes: Foolish little brother helping his boyfriend.

JashinLuver: HOLY SHIT YOUR BROTHERS GAY?

blue_paper: Don't act like you're not.

JashinLuver: Bitch

$$M0ney$$: Anyway Itachi, Pein asked you truth or dare

Red_Eyes: Dare.

EmbarrassedGod: I dare you to go in front of your brother's house in a dress and say this is for you Sasuke then sing boom boom boom by venga boys then at the end blow kisses.

Red_Eyes: YOU **the following is to sensitive for human eyes please wait for Itachi to calm down**

JashinLuver: DAMN even I didn't know that many f*cking cuss words

EmbarrassedGod: Do it or else I'll send you to orochimaru all tied up with a note saying "do anything you want with me"

Red_Eyes: Fine

**Red_Eyes has logged off**

JashinLuver: I GOTTA SEE THIS!

EmbarrassedGod: ME TOO

BomberBoy: I GOT THE VIDEO CAMERA MEET YOU GUYS THERE

**BomberBoy has logged off**

**EmbarrassedGod has logged off**

**JashinLuver has logged off**

!GoodBoy!: TOBI WANTS TO SEE TOO!

**!GoodBoy! has logged off**

**FishSticks has logged off**

**$$M0ney$$ has logged off**

PuppetMaster: They all logged off :( and I'm too lazy to go

PuppetMaster: IM ALL ALONE NO ONE ELSE CAN HEAR ME!

PuppetMaster: Wait, NO ONE CAN HEAR ME! :D

PuppetMaster: Itachi sucks balls ( a/n don't mean to bash Itachi)

PuppetMaster: I'M GAY!

PuppetMaster: I WANNA F*CK DEIDARA!:D

PuppetMaster: I FIND ZETSU SECRETLY HOT

**ManEater has been disconnected due to heart attack**

PuppetMaster: Oh shit Zetsu was on

PuppetMaster:…

PuppetMaster: Oh well now no one is on so I can continue

PuppetMaster: I SAW HIDAN JACK OFF!

PuppetMaster: I SAW KONAN NAKED IN THE SHOWER AND SHE DIDN'T KNOW!

blue_paper: YOU DID WHAT NOW!?

PuppetMaster: OH SHIT KONAN I WAS JOKING NONE OF THAT IS TRUE BESIDES ITACHI

blue_paper: Bull Shit! I can't believe you're gay.

**Hokage_Of_Ramen has logged on**

Hokage_Of_Ramen: BELIEVE IT!

**Hokage_Of_Ramen has logged off**

PuppetMaster: That's getting annoying :|

blue_paper: :D I just realized something

PuppetMaster: What?

blue_paper: With you being gay means I GET MORE YAOI LIVE AND FREE :D :D :D F*CK YEA! :D

PuppetMaster: Please don't tell anyone!

blue_paper: alright but if you and Dei get together and do certain things (Wink wink nudge nudge) you'll record it right?

PuppetMaster: Fine but what about Zetsu?

blue_paper: After that heart attack I think he won't remember

PuppetMaster: Wait if he had a heart attack shouldn't you help him ?!

blue_paper: Yea but it's not like he … could…die WAIT OH SHIT!

**blue_paper has logged off**

PuppetMaster: I'll just wait for the others to get on

To the others who went with Itachi to Konoha!

They all hoped off Deidara's fabulous clay bird and started casually walking down the street without a single person wondering why not a single Konoha ninja was on their asses.

"So Itachi are you going to confess your love to Sasuke-san after the kisses?" Kisame teased while winking at Itachi, who was now blushing profusely.

"That's incest, Kisame and I don't partake in such an act that appalls me." Itachi said diligently.

"Oh really now then what's with the Kagamine Rin and Len doujin that clearly states that their a couple inside."

"I don't know what you're talking about Kisame you must be delusional perhaps you should go back to the base and have Konan check up on you. You seem to lack good health."

"HA! HES RAMBLING AND USING BIG WORDS! HE'S CLEARLY LYING!" Hidan yelled.

"Hidan all words are big to you," Kakuzu said while smacking Hidan upside the head.

"Hey! Either way he's rambling!"

"Fine! But it's now mine it belongs to Sasori!" Itachi said, realizing he was losing his composure, he straighten his purple dress and hair.

"Seriously, Sasori has that! I'm so using that for black mail!" Deidara yelled as he wrote something down on a piece of paper.

"Why does Sasori have that anyway?" Pein asked while he looked over Deidara's shoulder trying to see what the blonde was writing.

"He mumbled something about blondes and hot but that was about as much as I could catch before he shut the door in my face," Itachi answered.

"OH, OH, OH WERE HERE DEIDARA-SENPIA, WERE HERE!" Tobi yelled jumping up and down and pointing at the building.

"Oh god, here we go," Itachi paled. The others began pushing Itachi towards the door, it would've been easier though if Itachi's feet weren't planted to the ground.

**8 minutes and 31 seconds later**

(Everyone besides Itachi is already logged on cause I'm too lazy)

JashinLuver: Lmfao that was hilarious

BomberBoy: So funny

EmbarrassedGod: You know there was one thing I didn't get.

$$M0ney$$: What?

EmbarrassedGod: Why did Sasuke look like he wanted to rape Itachi?

FishSticks: Where is Itachi?

!GoodBoy!: OH OH PICK TOBI! TOBI KNOWS! :D :D

blue_paper: Where Tobi?

!GoodBoy!: Itachi-san's brother said he'd give Tobi a penny for Itachi-san and Tobi really likes pennies so Tobi gave Itachi-san to him :D :D :D :):)

ManEater: I wonder what he's doing to Itachi right now.

BomberBoy: Who knows

**Avenging_BadAss has logged on**

Avenging_BadAss: HELP SASUKE IS RAPEINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAASDS#$#% ^ ##ewfewr 12 ! # !1233&**&&^%^$$^#212213III)**||{}{OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

**Avenging_BadAss has been disconnected**

PuppetMaster: Should we worry?

BomberBoy: Nah He should survive.

blue_paper: Lets continue the game

$$M0ney$$: But Itachi isn't online

JashinLuver: I'll take his f*cking place.

ManEater: Then go

JashinLuver: Konan truth or f*cking dare

blue_paper: Dare

JashinLuver: I f*cking dare you to end everyone else's f*cking sentences with in bed.

blue_paper: In bed, Deidara, truth or dare?

BomberBoy: truth

blue_paper: In bed, do ya like someone here?

BomberBoy: Yea

blue_paper: In bed WHO WHO

EmbarrassedGod: I kinda wanna know too

blue_paper: In bed

BomberBoy: Gotta wait for someone to ask :P

blue_paper: In bed

BomberBoy: Tobi truth or dare

blue_paper: in bed

!GoodBoy!: DARE TOBI DARE TOBI!

blue_paper: in bed :|

BomberBoy: I dare you to leave and don't come back until were done with the game.

blue_paper: in bed

**!GoodBoy! has logged off**

ManEater: THANK GOD HE'S GONE! YOUR AWESOME!

blue_paper: In bed

$$M0ney$$: Sense when have you been in bed with Deidara?!

blue_paper: In bed

ManEater: WE DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY

blue_paper: in bed

PuppetMaster: I'll go next Konan truth or dare

blue_paper: in bed, Dare

PuppetMaster: I dare you to stop with the in bed thing its annoying

blue_paper: Thank you, Deidara truth or dare?

BomberBoy: Me again? Fine dare since I know what truth will be

blue_paper: I dare you to kiss the person you like but the person kissed can't tell anyone but must tell me ha-ha I got around it!

BomberBoy: What if I like more than one person?

blue_paper: Kiss the one you like the most then.

BomberBoy: Damn now I have choose? you guys make this hard

**BomberBoy has changed his status to brb**

JashinLuver: Who do you think he'll pick?

EmbarrassedGod: I'm guessing Sasori

$$M0ney$$: Why him?

PuppetMaster: ya why me?

EmbarrassedGod: Cause he calls Sasori Danna

ManEater: Pein-Sama change your pen name. it's too long!

blue_paper: that's what she said.

JashinLuver: I thought that dare was over

blue_paper:1) It was in bed 2) It is but it's funny.

**EmbarrassedGod has changed his pen name**

YourGod: Happy?

ManEater: Very

blue_paper: Wow I didn't expect that.

$$M0ney$$: What?

blue_paper: Nothing

JashinLuver: I'm getting bored when is Deidara getting back on?

**BomberBoy has changed his status to back**

PuppetMaster: There's your answer.

FishSticks: Who'd Deidara kiss?

blue_paper: the rule was they couldn't tell anyone besides me.

JashinLuver: OH F*CK NO! TOBI WATCHING BARNEY I GOTTA LEAVE THE LIVING ROOM BEFORE BARNEY RAPES ME.

YourGod: your afraid of barney? wow that's sad

JashinLuver: SHUT UP ASSHOLE

YourGod: DON'T CALL YOUR GOD THAT

JashinLuver: YOUR NOT GOD IF YOU CALL YOURSELF GOD ONE MORE TIME JASHIN WILL SMITE THEE

YourGod: IM GOD AND JASHIN IS A F*CKING POSSER!

**JASHIN-SAMA has logged on**

**JASHIN-SAMA has sent smite to YourGod's computer**

**YourGod has been disconnected**

**JASHIN-SAMA has logged off**

JashinLuver: Told that f*cker but noooooooooooooooooooo he doesn't f*cking listen.

PuppetMaster: Wow I must really be tired imma log off.

$$M0ney$$: Me too

FishSticks: Me three

ManEater: same here

BomberBoy: its 11:38 so I'll get off too

**PuppetMaster has logged off**

**$$M0ney$$ has logged off**

**FishSticks has logged off**

**ManEater has logged off**

**BomberBoy has logged off**

JashinLuver: So Konan it's just you and me *wink wink*

**blue_paper has logged off**

JashinLuver: She'll come back…...

JashinLuver:…..

JashinLuver: Won't she?

**JashinLuver has logged off**

End of chapter 3 Questions that might be answered next chapter:

Who did Deidara kiss?

Is Itachi okay?

How did Jashin get on the chat?

Is leader's computer ok?

Does Hidan have a thing for Konan?

Find out next chapter on Akatsuki Chat. Please review :D if anyone has any ideas for this send a message to me :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Ch.4 Hacking**

**FYI changing Zetsu's pen name to , thought of it after watching Hannibal last night.**

**Who's who-**

**blue_paper = Konan**

**PuppetMaster = Sasori**

**YourGod = Pein**

**!GoodBoy! = Tobi**

**ManEater = =Zetsu**

**FishSticks = Kisame**

**BomberBoy = Deidara**

**$$M0ney$$ = Kakuzu**

**JashinLuver= Hidan**

**Red_Eyes = Itachi**

**Guest Star: NARUTO! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D and others! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Naruto or anything else. If I did Orochimaru would have been called a pedophile many times in the anime.**

* * *

It was a beautiful day at the Akatsuki base everyone had a nice night of sleep, well mostly everyone.

"YOU ASSHOLES! YOU ALL ASUMED I'D BE 'OKAY' WITH SASUKE BUT NO THE FIRST THING HE DOES IS BLINDFOLD ME (which by the way doesn't really have an effect seeing as I'm almost blind and all) AFTER HE FOUND ME TRYING TO CONTACT YOU ON THE CHAT AND SERIOUSLY TOBI YOU GAVE ME FOR A F*CKING PENNY!?" Itachi fumed and he stopped through the front door and into the kitchen.

"Hey wait that was my penny!" Kakuzu yelled dropping his cup of coffee, he ran out the door, not realizing Tobi was right next to him.

"SCREW YOU ALL," and with that Itachi stomped off into his room.

***Hours later***

**JashinLuver has logged on**

**BomberBoy has logged on**

**blue_paper has logged on**

**YourGod has logged on**

**PuppetMaster has logged on**

**!GoodBoy! has logged on**

!GoodBoy!: HI EVERYONE! :D:D:D:D

BomberBoy: Tobi do you even know how to turn off caps?

!GoodBoy!: TOBI DOESN'T KNOW WHAT DEIDARA-SENPIA MEANS!

BomberBoy: Never mind… :l Anyway hey everyone,

blue_paper: Hi :D

PuppetMaster: Hey brat,

JashinLuver: Hey Dei

YourGod: Hello my friends and Hidan

JashinLuver: Hey what the f*ck did I ever do to you!?

YourGod: Hmmm, idk maybe your freaking jashin sent a virus to my computer and I had to spend hours talking to a guy WHO DID NOT UNDERSTAND A SINGLE FREAKIN WORD I SAID! I HAD TO KEEP TELLING HIM I PRESSED SHIFT F5 FOR HOURS!

JashinLuver: HEY PART OF THAT ISN'T EVEN MY F*CKING FAULT! I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT CTRL F5 AND SECOND GEEZ F*CKING SORRY!

YourGod: You better be sorry and really that's what he meant?! That explains why he sounded so pissed and called me deaf…

BomberBoy: Has anyone else noticed that our IQs drop every time were on here?

PuppetMaster: I know right?

!GoodBoy!: Where's Zetsu-san?

**ManEater has logged on**

ManEater: Hey

!GoodBoy!: ZETSU-SAN YOU MAGICLY APPEARED WHEN I ASKED! I MUST BE A WIZARD_! I COMMAND YOU TO DO A TRICK!_

BomberBoy: I pray for the future.

ManEater: Tobi that wasn't magic. Dumbass

!GoodBoy!: DO A TRICK!

ManEater: Fine, been meaning to do this anyway.

**ManEater has changed his penname**

: Happy?

!GoodBoy!: COOOOOOL!

BomberBoy and blue_paper: *Sigh*

JashinLuver: Who the f*ck is ?

: You know ? Dr. Hannibal Lector?

JashinLuver: Who the f*ck is that?

: You know what, go f*ck yourself.

YourGod: So where's the other three members?:D

JashinLuver: Kakuzu is still tracking down his precious f*cking penny.

PuppetMaster: and Kisame I think is consulting Itachi over what happened trying to sooth him.

BomberBoy: The question is in What Way? Heh.

blue_paper: Deidara you pervert!

BomberBoy: Look who's talking Ms. Hypocrite.

blue_paper: :l At least I don't always take everything suggestively.

BomberBoy: At least I don't like to watch! And we both know what you just said is a load of crap

JashinLuver: HA! F*CKING PERVERT SHOWDOWN! EPIC!

PuppetMaster: I'm not sure who will win.

YourGod: Konan's totally going to win

: We bet on blondey. No we bet on the hot chick. No Blondey No the chick blondey chick blondey chick blondey chick RRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!MKNDJKNDFKJNSFDJNJ823YTVp,kgnhnh yjty-rsjuhewufijuhewufiri3=][3r7\]7984574T%$?Gborigebjotr4'3g;.,hn

** has been disconnected**

~An hour later~

YourGod: Alright, so we all agree Konan is the winner here

blue_paper: I don't

JashinLuver: We don't give a f*ck about your opinion.

blue_paper: Excuse you?

JashinLuver: Are you f*cking blind or something I said we don't give a f*ck about your f*cking opinion

**blue_paper has changed her status to brb**

PuppetMaster: Ha you're gonna get it

JashinLuver: What the f*ck are yo-?j\x;[p0 gbvf 9rivfkn,buhbjuhfdg7

**JashinLuver has been disconnected**

PuppetMaster: Told you.

YourGod: Did anyone else just shiver at the scream Hidan made?

!GoodBoy!: Tobi's very confused

BomberBoy: Oh I was wondering why you were so quiet.

**blue_paper has changed her status to back**

blue_paper: So who wants to play a game?

!GoodBoy!: OH OH TOBI! TOBI DOES!

PuppetMaster: Oh god not truth or dare again. Do you know how old that is it's too mainstream so it's used way too often.

BomberBoy: Whoa-ho-ho make way for hipster Sasori everybody!

PuppetMaster: I'm not a hipster brat. I'm simply stating a fact!

YourGod: Sasori don't cover it up. Be yourself.

!GoodBoy!: BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE AND PRETTY! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

BomberBoy: HEY! I know what to get you for your birthday now!

PuppetMaster: And what that brat? :l

BomberBoy: A GIFT CARD TO STARBUCKS!

blue_paper: Because we know how you hipsters enjoy your coffee!

BomberBoy: Konan you have to use the correct term. It's not coffee it's a triple mocha Caramel espressos or something!

YourGod: Or is Starbucks too mainstream and its Caribou Coffee now?

PuppetMaster: FOR THE LAST F*CKING TIME I'M NOT A HIPSTER! (A/N I'm sorry if this previous convo has offended anyone.)

!GoodBoy!: Tobi's confused. D:

BomberBoy: Aren't you always?

blue_paper: Anyway it's not truth or dare. Its where we ask each other questions and if the other person fails to comply then they must hack Konoha's chat room and do whatever the other person says they must do. It's called question or hack.

YourGod: You just made this up didn't you?

blue_paper: pretty much.

PuppetMaster: Fine.

blue_paper: Alrighty then I'll go first. Tobi, are you a naughty boy when you go to visit Zetsu? ;)

YourGod: Of course that's the first thing she asks.

!GoodBoy!: Tobi can't tell you or else Zetsu-san will get mad and punish Tobi.

YourGod: Am I the only one who took that last part wrong. Heh.

PuppetMaster: You're not the only one seeing as Konan is here and I can hear Deidara giggling like a school girl next door.

blue_paper: You giggle Deidara?

BomberBoy: It's the manliest damn giggle you'll ever hear so stfu.

blue_paper: I'm going to consider what Tobi said as an answer so you go Tobi!

**$$M0ney$$ has logged on**

$$M0ney$$: HA! Got my penny! Tobi you're a dumbass for leaving it on the table.

!GoodBoy!: OH GOODY! KAKUZU-SAN YOU'RE HERE! WE'RE PLAYING QUESTION OR HACK! TOBI HAS A QUESTION FOR YOU~~~~!

BomberBoy: Get ready for your IQs to drop.

PuppetMaster: Why are you so gloomy at times on here?

BomberBoy: -Face turns towards the screen and looks at audience- Maybe it's because the author is a Deidara fangirl and she doesn't know how to betray me because she is resisting the urge to have me to confess her love to her and to act like a complete pervert and to act flamboyant and to have me make out with Sasori or Konan or Hidan or any other character in Naruto except Sasuke because he's a bastard.

PuppetMaster: Nah that's not it.

BomberBoy: Yea your right I must be hallucinating.

YourGod: Yea because if there was an author she would be fangirling over me and my godliness.

blue_paper: Stop being full of yourself, Pein.

YourGod: -Emo corner-

!GoodBoy!: Anyway Tobi's gonna ask Kakuzu now!

$$M0ney$$: Fine go ahead.

!GoodBoy!: Between Kakuzu-san and Hidan-san who is seme and who is uke. ;]

BomberBoy: Holy f*ck Tobi is that you?!

blue_paper: YES! I FINALLY RUBBED OFF ON HIM!

PuppetMaster: YOU'VE RUINED A PERFECTLY INNECENT MIND!

YourGod: Hot Damn.

$$M0ney$$: The f*ck? What in the name of money Tobi! YOU DON'T ASK SUCH AN ABSURB QUESTION! ME AND HIDAN ARE NOT IN ANY RELATIONSHIP WHAT SO EVER.

Others: Bull. Shit.

!GoodBoy!: So you'll take the punishment?

$$M0ney$$: Yes seeing as the other option is lying.

!GoodBoy!: I dare you to go on the chat room and confess your love to either Naruto and you have to play the part and talk about how its forbidden and stuff.

YourGod: And I expect a copy of the transcript on my desk so make it good.

$$M0ney$$: -sigh-

**$$M0ney$$: has logged off and logged onto another server**

* * *

-ON THE KONOHA SERVER-

CherryBlossom_Chan: So do you think I should have it looked at or do you think I'm just over reacting?

SandFANgirl: Uh I guess. I'm not really sure seeing as we don't have that here in Suna?

Hokage_Of_Ramen: What did we just listen to?

LazyIsMyMiddleName: I have no f*cking idea. All I know is that I'm scared for life. It's a real drag.

Avenging_BadAss: Now I remember why I left.

**$$Money$$ has logged in**

Hokage_Of_Ramen: HOLY SHIT! AKATSUKI!

LazyIsMyMiddleName: Calm down it's not like her can do anything in here.

$$Money$$: Uh, Naruto-kun. I uh just wanted to uh tell you something.

Hokage_Of_Ramen: What?

$$Money$$: Uh, I don't know how to say this.

Avenging_BadAss: Spit it out already. You started wasting my time hours ago.

$$Money$$: Listen here yo- -Sigh- Sorry please forgive me. Before I explain I want you to know Naruto-kun that I know it's completely forbidden but please listen for this is what I truly feel.

Hokage_Of_Ramen: Uh, okay?

$$Money$$: Well uh, you see, I uh- I LOVE YOU NARUTO-KUN PLEASE EXCEPT MY FEELINGS!

* * *

**OH YESH I CLIFF HANGER. YOU MAD BRO? In the words of Shawn and Gus from Psych SsSsUuUuUuUuUcK IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiTtTtTtTtTtTtTtT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! But yes that is a to be continue little thingie. Anyway QUESTIONS TO BE TOLD!**

**Is Tobi a naughty boy?**

**What type of punishment does Zetsu do?**

**Who did Deidara kiss?**

**Is Deidara Hallucinating?**

**Will Naruto Except?**

**FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON AKATSUKI CHAT!**


End file.
